Every Wedding comes with its set of interesting characters but the “Aunties” and the “Uncles” are the ones who take the expertise in hogging all the attention and we all secretly hate them. Although, lets face it. No function is fun without them…
Following are 13 things that Gujju-Aunties say during weddings:
1) To young guys/girls: Have taro vaaro kyaare aavshe??
Honestly, she is least interested in your wedding plans, all she wants is to grab the next opportunity to dress up, show off and gossip with her friends.
2) To Bride’s parents: Caterer book thai gayo??
Na, caterer book karya vagar j lagan karva nikdi padya chhiye. Tame 1200 maanas ni rasoi banaavi aapsho, please??
3) Among themselves: Jo to, peli ae kevu pehryu chhe? Aava kapda pehraay marriage ma??
Though she is criticizing a girl for her dressing sense, but deep inside her heart, she would give away her life to fit into that dress.
4) To her friends: Ketli fine laage chhe tu!!
In other words, she means to say, “Jo, me taara vakhaan karya ne? Have taro vaaro, have tu maara vakhaan kar. Please!”
5) To guys: *pulls his cheeks* Arrey, jo to, ketlo moto thai gayo tu to!!
Haa aunty, shu karu? Bhagwaan ae bijo koi option j na aapyo.”
6) To younger generation: Amaara vakhte to aatla badha nakhra na’ta.
She is actually regretting taking birth in the previous generation and missing out on all the fun that this generation is having.
7) Among themselves: Tame ketlo chaanllo lakhaayo?
Dodh crore rupiya!! Tame lakhaavsho dodh crore rupiya no chaanllo?? 51 rupiya no chaanllo karvo ne ema aakha gaam ne puchhshe,” Tame ketlo chaanllo lakhaayo?”
8) To her husband: Bas have, ketlu naachsho? Thaaki jasho pachhi…
Tame aakhi jindagi bichara kaka ne tamari aangadiyo par nachaavya tyaare sehej ey dayaa na aavi, ne have bichaara kaka thodu dance kari ne majaa kare to chinta thaay chhe???
9) Hu to kantaadi gayi bhaishyaab, roj roj koina ne koina marriage. Bau ujaagra thaay chhe.
Ujaagra marriage na kaarane nathi thata, tamari unlimited gossiping na kaaran e thaay chhe.
10) To bride/groom’s parents: Badhi taiyaari thai gayi ne?
Taiyaari chaalti hati tyaare mo bataavva pan na’ta aavta, ne have formalities kare chhe!!
11) To her friends: Ae to maara dikra jevo chhe, aena marriage ma to mare aavvu j pade ne?
All the guys whose weddings have a good menu are “maara dikra jevo” for her.
12) Chhokariyo ketli jaldi moti thai jay chhe? Haju kale to maara khoda ma ramti’ti, ne aaje juo, lagan chhe ena!
Kone kidhu aatla jaldi lagan karaavi do ena??
13) When someone praises her: *with sheer joy and happiness* Jo jo, aa to keh chhe ke hu dulhan ni moti ben jevi laagu chhu..
Someone lied to get into her good books, she believed and we suffer!!! Aunty, the only reason someone could ever say that is not because you look young but because the bride looks too old.
And following are 13 Things Gujju-Uncles say during weddings:
1) Kai pan kaam-kaaj hoy to kehjo.
Tame kai kaam aapo to hu kai pan bahaanu banaavi ne chhatki jaau..
2)Aa badhu aapadne na faave. Hu to amuk khaas loko na marriage ma j jau chhu ae pan mo bataavva purtu j, bije badhe wife jai aave.
What he really means is “Frankly speaking, I can neither resist nor digest the food being served in weddings. So I generally avoid getting into such situations where I have to select between by taste-buds and digestive system”
3) Aa badha khota kharcha to karaay j nai.
Free advice!!! Limited period Offer!!! Offer valid till the stock lasts!!!
4) Tame paisa ni chinta na karta..
Kem?? Aa lagan no kharcho Warren Buffet aapvano chhe??
5) Arrey yaaar, mane kidhu hot to sasta ma pataavi aapyu hot.. maaro ek mitr aa j kaam kare chhe..
… Ane eni jode maare 15% commission nu setting pan chhe…
6) Aapde to ek j vaat ma maaniye.. Koine takleef na padvi joiye, paisa game etla thaaay..
Naam bade aur darshan khote…
7) Aana karta to court marriage kari leva saara, koi maathakoot to nai..
Beware!!! This type of kaka are severe case of extreme-laziness or severe social awkwardness. And yeh bimaari chhoone se phailti bhi hain!!
8) Aaj kaal na chhokrao to jaate j life-partnero shodhi le chhe..
Kaka? Aa tamne bharatiya sanskruti ni chinta thaay chhe etle aavu bolo chho ke pachhi tamne potaano life partner jaate shodhvaano chance na madyo eno badaapo kaadho chho???
9) Love chhe ke arrange??
*Talks to himself* love hoy ke arrange, maare shu?? Hu to jamva aayo chhu!
10) Lagan ni season ma aa takleef to rehvani j.
For all the problems for which he can not find a solution, he uses this line.
11) Bau divase dekhaaya ne tame to…
Haa, hu aaj-kal Harry potter no invisibility cloak pehri ne faru chhu etle dekhaaato nathi!!!
12) Hu to lagan ma khaato j nathi, rasoiya-o jamvama chemicals naakhe to aapde maanda padiye.
Capacity karta double gulaab-jaambu thapkaariye toye maanda padiye. Limit raakho!!
13) 6 mahina pehla party plot book karaavi levo pade, chhella time e kai na made!
Hain?? Saachche?? Lo, amne to khabar j nahti, saaru thayu tame kahi didhu.
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